Dance is something that gets beaten out of our lives so early for many of us, it seems we get to a certain age and it’s no longer ‘cute’ it suddenly becomes “do the moves right or you can’t dance.” It happened to me as child at ballet. I was too “uncoordinated” apparently. It took me until I was 20 to find dance again, authentic dance that didn’t involve alcohol or drugs and being groped by strangers. It was 2010 and at the end of a deep dark place I found myself at a tantric dance retreat, three days of camping, dancing, community, food, connection and that weekend I realised that this is what I am here to do! To share the dance medicine.
Finding Healing and Freedom in Dance
I am so excited to share this week’s dance with you. This one I nearly didn’t post, in fact, I was almost ready to turn the song off and give up the idea of sharing weekly dances with you, the resistance was especially high BUT you can clearly see in the video the moment where I cleared one of my big life blocks!
I remember being in middle school (ages 8-12) and we had student shows, I decided one time that I wanted to choreograph my own dance and perform it in front of the school. I practiced and practiced, I made my costume, I was so excited, I was going to be amazing, maybe some of the kids might even like me after this... But then the day came and I got laughed out of assembly, it was brutal, it’s one of quite a few incidents at that school that have left me with a lot of trauma. Much of which has been left mostly ignored by me as I work through more recent trauma. There’s a moment in this dance where I was deep inside, moving, or trying to move but finding a lot of resistance to dancing in front of a camera. For me dancing to this song with my daughter is incredibly fun and liberating, but to stand there trying to film it, I felt vulnerable and nothing short of terrified. As I danced, a flash of me as a child wearing white and blue and the echo of the song came and passed and as it did I understood. I understood why I have hidden for so many years, why I don’t dance in public as much as I feel to, why I felt timid and nervous and so many other emotions. As I acknowledged it all, it left and you can see how my dance freed up and I ‘got ridiculous.’ I also got my bleed during the dance – talk about a release!
So here I am, I am ready to step up, step into my power and to let you see me as I am. The beauty of sharing authentically with you is that you will see all different versions of me, you’ll see the big bags under my eyes when I’m in Luteal and menstruating, you’ll see my glowing skin when I’m ovulating and that is why I will rarely wear makeup and I will not use filters either. My videos and recordings, at this stage, are all one-takes, I’m human, I’m also technologically challenged but hey…
I regularly describe dance to be like the therapist you have always wanted. For those of us who have spent any length of time in psychotherapy you will know how draining it can feel to go around in circles, repeating select bits your story to strangers and being made to re-live your trauma without any real feelings of progress. Dance, however, allows us to drop into ourselves and let our own system bring up and release so that we can heal, without words. ‘Dance’ as a concept can feel limiting, so I often interchange the word with body movement. As you can see in last week’s dance I sat and rocked to an a cappella mantra, while my daughter sang along and that was perfect for us in that moment.
Conscious Parenting Gateway
As conscious parents, we know that we can use every experience within a day, and each interaction with our children to:
- 1. Move towards becoming the kind of parent we want to be; and
- 2. Heal our own trauma and childhood by
- - Being the kind of parent that we needed; and
- - Being the kind of kid that we wanted to be.
We can use dance to re-write our story, next time you’re having a tough day with the kids, stop, put on a song and just get silly!
Or if you’re feeling emotional, or even numb, put on a song, turn the volume right up and follow your body as it finds its rhythm naturally with the music.
See how you feel afterwards, see if you noticed any shifts in yourself of your child/ren.
Somedays when I know I NEED a cry, but I’m feeling unable to release I pull out a solid tear jerker like Death Cab for Cutie’s I’ll Follow You in to the Dark.
What’s your go to song that brings on the tears? I’d love to hear! Click here to email me.
See you again next week.
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